I held you
all this time
one-handed existence
fingers entwined
with yours
I know this
as
I know my breath
as
I know the curled ache
protective
in my bones
but
when
after all the melodies of me
had thrummed
beneath the flesh
between
when
I swallowed ragged sorrow
loosed my grasp
there was only
wanting’s shape
within
my blood alone
a rivered song
of endless oneself
lament

how
I want to go back
to unknowing
your absence